My extended absence from posting regularly has created a strange and urgent compulsion to explain myself regarding my recent neglect. I’m chalking it up to a deeply-ingrained sense of failure from childhood that I’m not living up to some ridiculously high standards I imposed on myself. Or something to that effect.
I write because I like it. Because [I like to think] I’m pretty good at it. Its good, old-fashioned fun. I read a lot as a kid, so writing is a natural complement to that.
There are also many things that hold me back half a second after I’ve reached to pick up my pen, or opened the Editor to create a new draft for a post…Often enough, a topic arises that would move me to stand on my soapbox: some idiosyncracy of Politics, Religion, Parenting, etc. But because these topics are so complex and personal I fear the backlash; worried that if I speak my mind I’ll be picked apart, shot down, called trite–or even worse–ignorant and misinformed. 
Were a post to spark an intelligent, considered debate by opposing parties it would not only be welcome by me but a beautiful thing to behold–but those are very rare. 
More often than not sharing about any of the above quickly turns into a pissing contest, so I just don’t go there.
I’ll overthink it or second-guess myself. I’ll have an idea for a post but I pick myself apart in the effort to create something that is a definitive account of my opinion on the subject, and that inevitably becomes a quest to write the Great American Novel. So I scrap that particular conquest.
I do enjoy sharing the things that make me happy or inspire me.
Maybe if I carry on enough about the majesty of my favorite sci-fi programs I’ll even turn a few converts. I mean, I seriously do believe that we as a society could achieve better living through watching Star Trek. I think classes should be taught around the subject. And Doctor Who… is just pure, unadulterated awesome.
There is of course the issue of finding time to write. Many days I come home from work looking like this:
and continue to do so until I’ve had a meal and perhaps a little drinky-winky, at which point things are beginning to look a little better…
But by then its nearly bedtime, and if I’m not strict with myself about getting enough Zzzzzs, I’m likely to regret it the next day.
Mostly, I enjoy the opportunity to be creative, maybe even a little clever.
Until next time, That’s All Folks.
mandymelodies.com 